Do you need experts to tell you that it is OK to Lie?

We are doing it all the time and still, we need the assurance that ethically and morally, there is nothing wrong with it? I am talking about lying spontaneously, lying on the go, and lying without giving it a second consideration. It has become imperative to our daily existence. Just the other day I found my wife hiding on WhatsApp. I couldn't be more surprised - why would anyone try to camouflage oneself on something as free and miscellaneous as this social communication platform? Because there are some people out there, toxic thought carriers whom you don't want to overwhelm your sense of calmness on some days, at least on days when Life already seems to be going in a tizzy. So, are there any morality calculators out there that can define when it is OK to lie? 

Is it okay to lie, sometimes? The recent spate of events is sufficient proof that I have to lie, I have to make up stories, and more often than not it is not even for my benefit. I have to lie that I need to be excused earlier because there are things that need to be handled at home but essentially, the conversations are so damn boring - hanging around would have only meant more of myself and less of being a good participant in social situations. I have to create weird conversational backdrops for my father every time I want to buy something new for him - being honest would mean not doing some very basic things for an aging parent.

This recent article mentions that "Lying is often socially motivated" and features opinions from experts like Christian L. Hart [a researcher in lying and deception!], and he concludes that on most occasions people don't lie for "direct gains". This is true across most social situations. The intent that brings about lying should indeed be the only parameter to judge - white lie vs dishonest lying. The latter is more of a cover-up. The former is chosen because the absolute truth would perhaps do more damage. Therefore, lying in many situations is mathematically and logically the only choice.

The Delhi Choley Bhature Scene is Changing but not for the Good!

The bloggers are rampant and uncontrollable when creating videos about it, supported by the inexplicable appetite of social media content consumers, and it seems that no matter what season of the year it is, there is one equally popular food option during the breakfast, lunch, and dinner timings - Choley Bhature. While every hood in the city has its own favorite, Instagram and YouTube continue to preach the top 5, 7, or 10 places to reach the holy grail of Choley Bhature, and surprisingly, people in Delhi, people from Delhi, those who grew up within the city are as curious and sometimes naive, following every bit of social content to explore a new 'Choley Bhature' destination. While this transformation set in over the last 5 - 7 years, with the post-COVID [WFH] lifestyles also contributing to the cause, the overall Choley Bhature scene in Delhi has changed and not everything about it needs to be romanced with words and not every change should have been welcomed.

The Dream vs Reality of Family Summer Vacations: everything is not OK when holidaying with the family!

Every year as summer rolls around, images of the idyllic family vacation fill our minds. We envision laughing children playing on a beach, happy parents sipping drinks by the pool, and memorable moments being created. The reality, however, is often quite different - and much more stressful than anticipated. I recall my childhood days when family vacations were the norm, and I failed to remember even one trip that was filled with unpleasant memories. For some reason, and shockingly, I did not come across this somewhat taboo subject for most of my early years. However, some grey hair decades later, I realized that this is a genuine and global problem, and whether you are vacationing with your kids, grandparents, in-laws, or the extended family, family trips are often the source of anxiety. The following just might help though I am sure there is no simple cure for the issue...

What is self-compassion and it is important for you to accept your body?

Understanding Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a critical psychological concept that entails treating oneself with the same kindness, concern, and support one would show to a good friend. Rooted in ancient Buddhist practices, self-compassion is fundamentally about recognizing our shared human experience, which includes suffering and imperfection. Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneering researcher in this field, defines self-compassion through three main components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.

Components of Self-Compassion

Self-Kindness: Instead of being harshly self-critical, self-kindness involves being gentle and understanding with oneself. It means recognizing that it's okay to make mistakes and that imperfection is a part of the human experience.

Eric on Netflix India is Daringly Different, Dark & Recreating Benchmarks

When Benedict Cumberbatch said that dressing up as a giant blue monster is "one of the most ludicrous things I've done" for the Netflix show, Eric, he must have forgotten to mention that he perhaps knew all along that this is one of the biggest performances that showcases his versatility as a performer.

[Image source:

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment]

You will surely relate with Eric if your childhood was in the shadows of the mayhem associated with dysfunctional marriages. If your parents quarreled a lot, and as a result, you still carry many emotional scars of growing up through the years with a type of fear that cannot be explained and that unsettling feeling continues to be there, deep in your heart, even if your parents have departed, you will instantly relate with the child who is perhaps, just running away from himself. It is that feeling does not go away - it lasts for a lifetime and Eric uses the darkness of this reality to beautifully conjure a scenario as a part of its storytelling. The depths of it include the corruption in NYPD, it highlights the corruption in our minds, and how choosing to be a different individual often causes our world to be shaken, stirred, and almost decimated.

The Pencil Thing: When Life Pulls You Back to the Basics!

I could have never imagined that sometime later in my adult life, I would have to make a comeback to writing with pencils. At school, progressing from pencils to pens was regarded as a significant shift. It is treated as one of the many signs that you have arrived at the doors of young adulthood. As we progress further, lives take a more professional form where pencils are regarded as kiddish and pens, sometimes the luxury variety, are looked upon as standard tools. However, sometimes Life can pan out in such a manner that whatever seems standard or natural needs to be re-evaluated.

I am now returning to the basics, i.e. writing with pencils, and this is why…this is not about the medically documented benefits of writing with a pencil but about the psychological, more humane side to the story.

Full Body Review for Hell House - Original, First Part Full Movie [as seen on YouTube]

There are a lot of real-life documentary-type movies out there and usually, I don't recommend watching them since the constant movement of the camera tends to irritate me a lot. However, Hell House does the same thing differently and a lot better. For the uninitiated, this is your typical low-budget movie done in a handheld, camera-shot manner and still, it manages to impress. Just for records - I have not researched if Hell House [first of the three so far] is of the pseudo-genre of documentary that was used by the makers of The Poughkeepsie Tapes - I think believing that something like this happens for real, and can happen again, just adds more creepiness to the entire thing.

Doing 'The Poughkeepsie Tapes' but only a bit better!

The beginning of the movie is marked by the medical teams and investigators repeatedly mentioning YouTube videos and finding some lost footage - this sets the tone in a way. You realize that the movie is going to present itself in a non-Cinemascope manner and still, Hell House manages to hold your attention. It does so by not using too much music. It does it better by straight away jumping into the subject - the incident per se, without a big lead-up, which can be boring and predictable. I still rate The Poughkeepsie Tapes among the top contenders in this niche of horror moviemaking but Hell House [the original] has come close, dangerously close. It has a slower pace than the latter, and it does not try to interpret a reason or the doer. This one scene in The Poughkeepsie Tapes still remains in my mind where the cops uncover a truckload of VHS tapes that were used to record the torture and instantly it dawns on the viewer that this is not just about a serial killer, The Poughkeepsie Tapes is about someone who tortures and kills as regularly as we have supper. Now, to give some perspective, Hell House has more of these spooky scenes. The simple, close-up of the basement that comes up in the first few minutes of the movie is creepy - mind you, this is before the menacing footage even starts playing!