Do Abnormally Creative Mixing Skills Mean a Good Career?

I am looking for a job profile titled Mixologist. Your expectations should be:

• can mix all forms known to man - air, water, fire, earth, pornographically permeated ideas
• suffers from severe mixing tendencies that were once evaluated as the result of God-mixed, genetically-conjured split personalities
• has no shame in admitting that most mixing experiments lead to severe accidents
• someone who cannot be trusted with a kitchen that is reasonably stocked
• expects you to be ready party to anything and everything that is mixed and whipped beyond recognition
• seems to look at everyday food choices as a challenge and wants to defeat them
• has the distinction of not suffering from acidity despite multiple, same-day food experiments
• was once listed as a wanted offender for challenging the stability of our food chain
• has won accolades for mixing three types of shaving foams and four types of deodorants
• suffers from borderline disassociation syndrome when mixing possibilities dry-up
• cannot be trusted with small kids as his creations might make the kids choke or allergy-up
• envies mixer-grinding machines who seem to mix better than him [seem...they actually don't]
• is crazy about textures in food